Sunday, July 23, 2017

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets - Movie Review

The Movie: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

The Director: Luc Besson

The Cast: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delevingne, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, Herbie Hancock, Kris Wu, Rutger Hauer

The Story: A dark force threatens Alpha, a vast metropolis and home to species from a thousand planets. Special operatives Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.

The Review:
Remember when Luc Besson made really good movies? I mean, this guy is responsible for directing Léon: The Professional , The Fifth Element, and Le Femme Nikita. as well as writing both Taken and The Transporter. Unfortunately, Valerian is a complete and total mess that wants you to think it's really cool, but comes off looking like it's trying way too hard to compete with Star Wars and Guardians of the Galaxy. Among the many mistakes and missteps during the creation of this movie, casting Dane DeHaan in the lead role may have been one of the most egregious offenses. Basically, he's playing a Han Solo/Star Lord type character while having none of the qualities that make that type of character work. If I had a worst casting of the year award, I doubt if anyone else would even come close.

Before I forget, I want to talk about the ladies in this movie for just a moment. Cara Delevingne, after playing a supporting role in Suicide Squad, actually does a nice job as a co lead in this movie, even though Besson does everything he can to make her nothing more than eye candy with an attitude. Speaking of eye candy, Rihanna is in this movie although it's basically to provide a burlesque show for the audience that does nothing more than halting the story's progress for about five minutes. Now that I think about it, that may actually be a positive given how horrible the story is.

The Verdict:
If you can avoid seeing this movie, please do so. You'd be better off seeing Guardians again or maybe just poking yourself with a stick. I did not watch the movie in 3D and have no interest in seeing it again so won't be able to offer any insight.

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